so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
