I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
