I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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