i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
