so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
