Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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