when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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