You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it glows. i had to have it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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