Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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