How's work?
Spinning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
