I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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