would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You can't special order awesome
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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