You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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