Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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