today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
