rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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