Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
