they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
