i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
