before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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