ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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