he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
