bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need water and some morals
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
