she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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