Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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