Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
