Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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