I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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