totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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