you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
what day is it and did you see me today?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize