i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
