90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
