is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is wine microwaveable?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
