Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
