I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
