Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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