I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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