We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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