hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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