I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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