would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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