Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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