Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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