I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
