Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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