I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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