the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
