Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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