I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
