Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
