Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
