Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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