I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
