so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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