You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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