oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
