i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
ok first of all what the fuck
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
