I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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