I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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