do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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